Blackett
Oh dear I was afraid that this blog would start becoming a bitchfest and we would slowly turn into horrible fanboys that hate everything in the world becasue it wasnt made to the exact detail we imagine in our heads. I would like to say that this next blog is going to be different but its not, but its not my fault, I swear! I cant help it that Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem was made and I, in my infinite wisdom decided that it would be a good idea to go and see it.
I didnt go into this film with any hopes of it actually being good I pretty much accept that the AvP series fall into the money making side of Hollywood rather than aiming to have any worth, and at times there is nothing wrong with that (sadly I have a soft spot for the Resident Evil films). So here I am hoping for some mindless fun and I get presented with this mess of a film.
The film starts with some hope, I like a bit of continuity, it always gives me a little buzz when I see something and can go "thats from the last film" so with this one starting the second the last one ended I thought it was nice. Then it was all down hill. A shot of the city next to where the Predator ship crashed, made me excited, there was some vague hope would see aliens roaming about a town in the style of Primeval, but better. Instead of a whole hunky dory new location for killing and acid blood the amazing directors chose locations that looked exactly the same as from other films, sewers that look like Aliens, an electicity place (its not fully explained what it is but it manages to control all of the electricity, phone lines, internet..infact we will just call it the building that is a plot device to make a whole town isolated from the rest of the world) that could have been from Alien3, the forest doubles for the jungle in Predator and at one point we even get a swimming alien ala Alien Ressurection.
In fact its incredibly difficult to escape the constant bombardment of homages to the previous films, which wouldnt be a bad thing if you're not sitting there trying ever so desperately to detach this film from a series of films that you love. Things get to be a little ridiculous when Ripley and Newt style characters are shoe horned into the tale and start driving about in a tank. Its as though the directors want to be patted on the back for watching the last films.
Finally, as i feel I have ranted for too long, there is the incredibly bad way in which the Aliens and Predator are shot. I never realised the Predators were such a camp race, the one that runs about this film being some sort of glorified cleaner moves like a balerina. He waft his hands high into the air every time he jumps, not in a manly way but as if this film is his audition for Swan Lake and every time he oh so gently touched the controls on his arm it made me laugh. The design of the Predator in this film makes him look a little ridiculous rather than scary, although his tiny lean but muscular body and his giant head could explain the reason why he flounces about the place. Then there are the Aliens; for the brief seconds we did see them they were shrouded in so much darkness that they might as well not have been there. Then there is the Predalien (which on further research turns out to be a Predalien Queen and the reason why it can impregnate people with out using a face hugger) which is so ugly and not in a scary way, it is just ugly I hope to god Giger had nothing to do with it. All I can say is that it has dreadlocks.
So in conclusion, apart from maybe three scenes where the film is a little bit good, I would avoid this till it comes out on DVD (or Blue-Ray or HD-DVD or Apple Store, or whatever the future brings) then get very drunk with your friends and enjoy it that way.
